Saturday, January 5, 2008

Contentment vs. Complacency

I was thinking the other day how I’ve changed. There was a time I use to be so anxious about finding a husband, that it pretty much consumed my daily life. However, now I have a strange feeling of "I really don’t care." I’m trying to determine after being alone for so many years whether I’m bordering on contentment or complacency.

Being content means that you are satisfied with what you have and don’t need anything more to be happy. It’s a state you finally reach or finally learn to live in. You stop striving and being anxious for what you don’t have and learn the secret of contentment in what you do have. You’re at rest about your situation, and at peace in the stage of life you find yourself. In the long run learning to be content in whatever situation you live is the safest place to be. It brings peace, but also keeps the door open for a potential mate. You don’t close the door to the possibility of finding someone, but you have found some contentment while you’re waiting. You’ve done away with the anxiousness of it all and have stopped being miserable.

Complacency on the other hand is a little different. You have a feeling of quiet pleasure or security in the state you’re in, but you’re really unaware of the potential dangers that may surround you. You’ve become smug or self-satisfied thinking you’re at rest and ease. A complacent heart puts you in a dangerous spot because in reality you’re hardening yourself towards the possibility of finding a mate. It’s easy after a rash of bad relationships and broken hearts to eventually cop an attitude that you don’t need anyone. You tend to put up a wall, do nothing to change your attitude, and end up thinking you’re satisfied in the state you’re in but you're not. In reality you’ve unconsciously closed the door toward the possibilities that may await you. You’ve let your complacency make you feel satisfied, but all along you’re killing your opportunities for love by not changing.

Where am I? Sometimes I’m walking in the yard of contentment and other days in the yard of complacency. I guess you could say I’m sitting on the fence between the two depending on my mood. As I was contemplating the other day my mental state and my "I really don’t care" attitude, I was thinking I really need to decide which yard I’m going to live in. How about you? Are you sitting on a fence too or living in the yard of contentment or in the yard of complacency? Maybe I'll meet you in one.