Sunday, February 24, 2008

Life Reflections

"You make his beauty melt away like a moth;
Surely every man is vapor. Selah" (Psalm 39:11 - KJV)

Lately I've been in a very reflective mood regarding life. I try to get my inspiration for my posts from things that affect me in my daily walk. Today while in the grocery store at the self-serve checkout, I needed the attendant to okay my purchase of my Arbor Mist Blackberry Merlot. (Yes, I occasionally have a sip of wine.) She asked me if I was 21. Very funny, seeing I'm 58, though my daughter-in-law (bless her heart) says I don't look a day over 48. The attendant said, "Yeah, I just turned 21. I wish I could be 18 again." I looked at her in astonishment -- 18 again! God, if I could take 40 years off my life and be 18 again and know what I know now, how sweet it would be. God, I envy youth and miss it myself.

I guess the older I get, the stranger life becomes to me. It reminds me of the Bible verse above. That we are but a vapor on earth - a momentary blip in the universe of the cycle of life. I feel like my own beauty is melting away like the moth in the verse. I hate growing older! But let's face it, we're all walking the same path of birth, life, and death as the multitudes that have travelled before us throughout history. It's the circle of life thingy they sang about in the Lion King.

In retrospect, I guess each of us must make our lives count for something while walking this earth. Life is short. It is fleeting. It's but a moment in time. However, as a single I feel like so much of my life, my creativity, my hopes, and my dreams, and the things I had wanted to accomplish in life are consumed by work, my daily chores, and the things I have to do alone to take care of myself. Even Solomon laments in his prose:

Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor.
For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up. (Ec. 4:9-10)

It's true, life is easier when you're in a good relationship. That's what I miss the most. Someone's shoulder to lay my head upon and feel safe with, a warm hand to hold, someone there to help carry my load, a companion to scratch my back or, better yet, rub my feet. I miss intimacy, someone to talk to, someone to care about, someone to share my life with. Two are better than one.

I guess my only alternative, if I never marry again, is to buy a Life Alert button. Perhaps that will take care of the "woe" if I fall alone thing and there's no one there to pick me up. Just push that button. My preference? Frankly, I prefer a human soul to help me rather than depending on an electronic device. What about you?