Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The Power of Touch

I know it’s been quite some time since I posted. Sometimes it takes a moment of inspiration to come around, and this post’s inspiration came while laying in bed this morning after a sleepless night.Surely I’m not the only single that experiences that problem, right?

There are nights I cannot fall asleep. I lay there alone, in the dark, hearing the breathing of my dog, a strange noise, or my neighbors above me making love in their squeaking bed. I kid you not! I can even hear the ecstasy. Believe me, I usually get up and go into the living room until they are finished.

Last night though, it was just one of those run-of-the mill nights. I was exhausted and went to bed early specifically for the purpose of getting more rest after a stressful day at work. Instead, I lay there for an hour waiting for sleep, and then woke up four times during the night. After I woke up at 4 a.m. and lay there again for another half hour, with no luck of seeing Mr. Sandman again (boy that dates me!). I finally got out of bed and have been up since. Very frustrating! I want and need sleep.

As a single though, I think my times of restlessness honestly stem from not having the touch of another human being or the warmth of a body next to me. There is something comforting and relaxing when there are arms to encircle you during the night, or feet to touch when yours are cold. Emptiness seems to breed emptiness and sleepless nights.

Human touch is such an important part of life. It’s a huge struggle for me as a single, and I am sure it is for you as well. Even though I’m older, it’s even a problem for younger singles. There are nights I lay in bed and wrap my own arms around myself just to feel touch. I thought myself crazy until I mentioned this to a friend at work, who is only 27 years old and single, and she admitted she did the same thing! Even just rubbing my hands down my arms or legs or touching my torso seems odd, but I’m starved – starved for touch.

I might as well lay it all out on the line. It’s been five years since I’ve been kissed and hugged by the opposite sex and nine years since I've had....dare I say what? Why am I being so frank? I'm positive I'm not the only single with the same painful reality. The only touch I do get is from my son, who I see once a month, if I am fortunate. He hugs me for a minute, and honestly the entire situation seems quite strange. I’m to the point now that I cannot imagine what it would be like to be kissed, caressed, or made love to by a man. The thought is foreign to me. Even the simple of act of holding a person's hand would seem odd.

I have no answers to such a dilemma. People tell me I should get massages. It just bugs me I have to pay someone to touch me. I try to hug others when they hurt, but that’s an act of giving, and I rarely seem to receive. Petting my dog just gives me stinky hands and more loose dog hairs to vacuum.

If you have any ideas on how to get more touching out of life as a single, drop me a line. Sending you a few cyberspace hugs anyway. {HUG} For some reason this old tune seems appropriate this post! Enjoy.

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream.
Make him the cutest that I've ever seen.
Give him two lips like roses and clover.
Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over.
Mr. Sandman, I'm so alone.
Don't have nobody to call my own.
Please turn on your magic beam.
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream.

Mr. Sandman bring us a dream.
Give him a pair of eyes with a “come-hither” gleam.
Give him a lonely heart like Pagliacci.
And lots of wavy hair like Liberace.
Mr. Sandman, someone to hold.
Would be so peachy before we're too old.
So please turn on your magic beam.
Mr. Sandman, bring us, please, please, please.
Mr. Sandman, bring us a dream.

Lyrics by Pat Ballard, published and recorded in 1954 by The Chordettes.