Friday, December 11, 2009

Is it really better?

Alfred Lord Tennyson's famous words. Is it really better? Boy that's a loaded question!

Just about every single can ponder this statement. Perhaps you have never married, but lost that one person you thought was the love of your life or your perfect soul mate. Was it better to have loved and lost them, than never knowing or loving them at all?

Perhaps you are divorced and dealing with the pain of a broken marriage. You once loved that person deeply, or you wouldn't have married them! Now, that love is lost. Would it have been better to have loved and lost than never having loved them at all?

Perhaps you have lost a spouse through death. The pain must be horrendous and the loss great. The question remains for you as well, is it better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all?

Frankly, I think it's better to have loved in our lives, rather than never knowing love with a certain individual. What would life be like if we never had the opportunity or blessed experience of loving another? I think it's dreadful actually.

Funny, the thought came to me the other day while sitting in my green recliner watching a couple kiss on TV that were in love. It's been SO long since I've felt those emotions for another human being - a man to love. It's a huge void in my life and an emotion I terribly miss.

Of course with each state of affairs comes pain. It's painful to love and lose. A broken heart is undoubtedly the worst emotional pain we suffer as human beings - at least it's been for me.

Yet there is another type of pain - it's the type of pain of never having loved at all! Loneliness and being unloved is just as horrible on many levels.

So I ask my readers this question - is it better to have loved and lost than never having loved at all? Let me know your thoughts. I'm curious.



Margaret said...

I think it's better to have loved and lost, for a variety of reasons:

It gives us a dimension we would never have otherwise.

Getting through the loss strengthens us, along the lines of "that which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger."

It give us hope that if we have loved once, we can love again.

If we can salvage some good memories, over time they can win out over the painful ones.

Nikki said...

I think it's better not to know. When you don't know what love is, yes, you yearn for it but you don't know what it feels like and you can't really miss what you don't know; but after you've experienced it, tasted it - embraced it and immersed yourself in it - and it's taken away, that is unbearable pain. Unfortunately, though, human beings aren't made to function without love. We die without it, just as we would without food, light and water. So that statement - it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all - should instead read "We have to love. Whether it's kept or lost, love is the key to having LIVED". Merry Christmas:)

Cindy said...

Somehow when I still think of the smile he put on my face, it makes it worth it. I remember my laugh around him, my happiness, not his so much, maybe that's why it never worked I guess. Imagine never knowing that happiness, I'm glad I met him, even if his someone else's now.