Sunday, July 19, 2009

Bigger and Whiter

Sigh.... I'm so tired of receiving spam emails to tell me I need to take a pill to enlarge a body part I don't possess. Do they not read names when they send out these stupid emails?? It's Vicki not Victor. Are all the men getting the enlarge your breasts spam emails, while the women get the enlarge your.....? Well you know. Are we suppose to forward these offer for pills if we don't have those parts to our friends or spouses of the opposite sex?

When I'm done dealing with tons of trash emails a day to enlarge and peek at what I don't have, then I go to web pages and am bombarded with pictures of people's mouths grinning at me with their yellow teeth turned white. Please, be honest with me. Do you find these ads enticing? Are you going to buy those products from clicking on open gross mouths of white or yellow teeth? Frankly, I despise those ads and can't wait to get off the page of gaping mouths peering at me.

How about the wrinkle cream ad? There you go. Right up my alley. Take a picture of a 20 year old girl, make her look like 80 with computer photo manipulation and tons of wrinkles, slap the cream on her face, and tell me I'm going to look like her at 20 again. Sorry, I've tried it. Don't work.

Those are only a few irritating reminders that come my way every day that I need to change something to be acceptable to the world around me. White teeth, straight teeth, no wrinkles, scars gone, split hairs mended, body odor masked, nails trimmed, smooth feet, and the list goes on. In fact it's endless. Every part of our body is targeted for sex appeal.

What is wrong with us? Please tell me people are really not making money off these ads from vulnerable lonely individuals wanting to look bigger and prettier in order to find love. What message are we sending ourselves or our kids for that matter?

Let's get back to basics. We are a society brainwashed by the media that if we don't look right or smell right, there's got to be something wrong with us. Even the movie stars who have all the beauty in the world don't possess the greatest love lives or lasting marriages. It should be a clue to us that perfection and beauty isn't necessarily the pill for success or happiness.

As a single, I really think there is a lot of pressure from the media on us in our search for love. We are constantly bombard every single day that our appearance in one way or the other is the most important thing in our lives for acceptance and success. It doesn't seem to matter if a decent personality goes along with it or not. We are visually stimulated by beauty, strive for an ideal that is almost impossible to reach, and spend millions of dollars in the process of doing so.

If I can give anything to anyone in life, it's the gift of unconditional love and acceptance, and it doesn't cost a dime.

Sorry for the rant. Gosh that last set of teeth just set me off!

Vicki

(PS...hope you appreciate the humor in it all. My Phantom friends will understand that all we really want is to be loved for ourselves.)

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Online Dating Sites

All right, folks, hold onto your computers. I'm about to spill my guts and complain on the worldwide Internet once again. Now that my disclaimer is out, here's my beef today - online dating sites.

All this week a certain popular online dating service advertised on television "view your matches for free" this weekend. After 10 years of single life, I can honestly admit I have probably paid over a thousand dollars to various online dating services on the Internet looking for love. You name it, I've been there: Match, PerfectMatch, eHarmony, Matchmaker, PeopleMatch, MingleMatch, Yahoo, Chemistry, and a bunch others that I can't even remember their name. If you've read my entire blog, you know about my one online disaster in 2001-2004. If you ever think of relocating for love, read it!

Okay, so it's been two years since I've tried online dating. I did talk to some guy for three weeks over the telephone that I had hit it off pretty good with. We had wonderful intelligent and honest conversations. After driving three hours on the other side of the state to meet him for lunch, it was just another rejection. An awkward moment going down in the history books. Driving back three hours, takes you through a desolate stretch of land in eastern Oregon. Frustrated as hell, I pulled over the side of the road, got out of my car, and screamed into no-where land at the top of my lungs I'd never do this again....and yes, I cried.

Well, I succumbed to the free trial again this weekend. I guess I'm a glutton for punishment. Took me a full hour to fill out the questionnaire so they could make sure I wasn't a psycho before being accepted. Of course, do people really answer these things truthfully? It's very easy to check "yes I never get mad" when in fact you have a raging temper from hell. People lie all the time, so I doubt an hour's worth of clicking on circular dots answering questions that spin your head is really going to be 100% accurate for anyone. By now most are wise to this service. If you answer the questions that indicate you're mentally incapable of having a relationship, you can't play inside the sand box with the others.

I finished the thing once again, and instantly 10 matches were flown my way. Some of them looked interesting, but I'm not allowed to look at the pictures because I'm not a paying member. What's up with that anyway? After reading all the possibilities, I still didn't have the heart to contact anyone. Of course, I had only been on the site an hour and it was time for bed.

This morning I woke up, logged on, and someone communicated with me - Al. Hi Al! Read his profile...hummm...fairly interesting. One of his interests happened to be writing! I did not, however, contact him back right away. Thought I would have breakfast first, and suddenly I received a message he had closed me out. The reason? "I don't feel that the chemistry is there."

Chemistry? Wait a minute. How can you determine "chemistry" when we haven't met? Then I remembered, that's why I quit this site before, and actually I wrote the dating gurus who own the place an email about that dumb comment suggesting it be removed. How can anyone determine chemistry over the computer? By a picture? By typed words? By reading a person's profile and never communicating? Perhaps this statement is suppose to be a kind phrase instead of saying I think your just plain ugly and don't wish to get to know you. (Don't get me started on that one!) Of course, if he was on a free trial, he couldn't see my picture anyway.

Chemistry, in my opinion, is that feeling you get when someone touches you. It's the charisma between two people that sparks when you're near each other physically. It's the touch of a man or woman that makes you melt. Chemistry is something that can only be felt personally in real life, not through the Internet cable connection on your computer. At least I haven't felt chemistry oozing through my keyboard coming my way. Have you?

:Big Sigh:

Back in February of this year, a movie was released called, "He's Just Not That Into You." There was one line in there that really said it all:
“I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting.”
It is exhausting. I'm off to delete my profile once again and throw in the towel. There just has to be a better way.

Your ranting single,
Vicki