Every time I buy fruit at the grocery store, it usually rots before I have a chance to eat it. Today, I was looking at my three golden delicious apples shriveling before my eyes and knew I had to take matters into my own hands. They were on the verge of rotting and drawing the last living fruit fly of the season indoors to circle above my kitchen sink. As I pondered those apples, a memory drifted back into my consciousness. I knew what I had to do to save their pitiful lives - make baked apples.
You would think making baked apples would be fun, but not MY baked apples. I once made the best baked apples in the neighborhood - so said my ex-husband and young son. Looking at those apples, I hesitated. I haven't made them in eons - in fact, I can't remember the last time I baked an apple since my divorce. I was about to embark on a memory - a fond memory - those very few from bad marriages that take you back to another time or place you sort of miss - togetherness with your family eating and praising your stellar baked apples.
It bothered me. Though I love baked apples, after 10 years of being alone those baked apples with every delicious bite (now cooking in my oven) will no doubt flood my mind with a time that once existed. After so many years of being alone, I'm faced once again with the holidays looming ahead. For years I've been alone and this year is no different.
As far as Christmas, I've been alone so long now I don't even bother with it. Last year I flew to Las Vegas and spent it at the Venetian by myself watching the Phantom of the Opera on stage. No family - no friends - no nothing - just me and the opera ghost.
Buried deep inside all these blogs lays another post about accentuating the positive and minimizing the negative during the holidays dated Thursday, November 22, 2007. I should re-read it and preach to myself.
If you're a single out there, dealing with memories of times past or mourning over memories you've never had the chance to make, please know you're not alone. I promise when I'm cooking my turkey in the next few weeks and wake up with no Christmas tree, presents, or Christmas dinner to attend, I'll think of you. Perhaps if we think of each other, we really won't be alone.
Should you need a cyber hug and encouragement those days, shoot me an email and I'll try my best to lift your spirits. If you're bored, you might want to buy my new book - a romance novel! Boy, that ought to make you feel better. (A link is off to the side.)
PS...Those apples will be done pretty soon! I'm going to enjoy them immensely.