Sunday, February 28, 2010

The Insanity of Singleness

There are days I think I'll go insane. Loneliness has a way of wrapping its slender fingers around your neck and strangling the life out of you. Some days I can handle it - others I cannot. Now entering my 11th year of being alone, I'm beginning to relate to the Count of Monte Cristo.

You remember the story, don't you? Edmond Dantès, falsely accused, is locked up for 14 years in a cell alone in the Château d'If. He almost goes insane from the loneliness until he meets another prisoner like himself and they try to tunnel their way out of the hell hole they live in on a prison island.

Interesting story. I sort of feel like the poor dude! I've been sentenced to a life of loneliness, to no fault of my own. I'm about to go bonkers, and the only relief I find is through other singles like myself who are trying to tunnel our way out of a prison of solitary life.

Of course, if you know the story, Edmond does strangle the life out of his warden when he escapes. The man was kind enough to beat the living day lights out of him every year on his anniversary of being locked up. I think if I ever get out of my prison, I may strangle someone too! (Just kidding, of course.)

Alas, yes, the story has a happy ending. He escapes, finds a fortune, becomes the richest man alive, and retrieves the woman he was suppose to marry 14 years earlier. Of course, he has to thrust his sword into the gullet of one of his enemies to move on, but hey - you gotta do what you gotta do to find that happy ending.

Well, back to my cell. Here are few quotes to ponder:

There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall. ~Colette

Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon. ~Matt Groening, The Simpsons, spoken by the character Lisa Simpson

Loneliness can be conquered only by those who can bear solitude. ~Paul Tillich

Language... has created the word "loneliness" to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word "solitude" to express the glory of being alone. ~Paul Johannes Tillich, The Eternal Now

Just One Single,


Anonymous said...

Stumbled onto your blog completely by accident. Read a few of your post...completely relate to it. The part on loneliness - the disconnectedness of the Netted world etc...

All the best- hope your book does well


Nikki said...

Loneliness does feel like insanity, one really feels like you're going mad. A social scene is so important when single - we need to see and speak to people!

Julie Rivera said...

Loneliness can be conquered only by those who can bear solitude. ~Paul Tillich

So true. It just sucks when you're not one of the people who can bare solitude.

Phoenixgirl said...

I know this more than I know anything else. Loneliness is stifling and sometimes it seems like there is no solution.

Zella said...

I found your blog through another blog, and I am so glad I did. I've never been married and haven't had a relationship in (gasp) over 13 years now...and I feel I am sinking to an abyss of loneliness and invisibility. Thanks for being so honest about your own experience, it helps to know I'm not alone.

Anonymous said...

In a world over-crowded with human beings, isn't it a crying shame that we are so starved for humanity and company? I take the tram to work every day and look around me in amazement. Everyone is so selfishly caught up in their stupid little lives that no one thinks to be polite, friendly or courteous anymore. This age which is so obsessed with telecommunication is suffering the greatest inability to communicate that human history has ever known. Our selfishness has resulted in this tragedy that we are all a part of - the irony of loneliness in an overcrowded world.

MC said...

I get this. 4 years alone now, and I find myself uttering tearful phrases like "I just can't do it anymore!". But I do, of course, keep doing it...
I like your blog--I've got one along similar lines, and it's always nice to find souls on a parallel journey--