Saturday, April 3, 2010

It's a Stacked Deck

Ah, the single life. The only thing it seems to be saving me from these days is being the victim of infidelity. With all the news of happy marriages gone south due to infidelity on the part of the spouse, I don't have to deal with the broken heart of a Woods or Bullock. I often bemoan my lonely existence, but the alternative doesn't look much better.

I recently heard on the news that it is estimated that roughly 30-60% of all married individuals in the United States will engage in infidelity in their marriage and these are "conservative" estimates. On top of it folks, half of all marriages will end in divorce. There is only one thing to say - the deck is stacked against us singles.

With stats like that, I often fear entering into another relationship if that's the projected outcome. I already know that most second and third marriages have higher rates of failed marriages than first. I blame that on people taking their problems from marriage to marriage and not cleaning the suitcase of problems before they go on their next honeymoon.

However, even more disturbing is the fact that as you look at the person at the altar you're about to marry nowadays, there's a greater than 50% chance they're going to sleep with someone besides you! Gosh, what a horrible thought. My trust in the opposite sex is already at rock bottom thanks to my past experiences, so how does one trust again? I often thought too that my own religious beliefs would shield me from having to experience infidelity, but even the "faithful" are falling to temptation. There is no guarantee any longer.

I really must admit, I hate the world we live in these days. Perhaps that sounds sad, but I truly have lost faith. Morality my friends is a joke and though we think it has no consequences on society or upon us as individuals, it's quite apparent that it does. We're turning into a society of untrustworthy, deceitful, self-centered individuals that seek pleasure. And what does the pleasure bring us? Broken lives, broken families, and broken hearts.

Perhaps I'm on my soapbox today, but it's obvious after 10 years of singleness the deck is getting stacked higher and higher against me. I often thought after spending so many years without love that I've been dealt a bum hand in life. However, even if another hand is dealt me and I find someone to love, will it still be a bum hand? Hard to know if I'll ever find my King of Hearts now.

Okay, I'm done ranting. I have more problems - it's time for another oil change. Where are the men when you need them?

Vicki

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes, as much as I get lonely being single, I still have a fear that if I were to find someone after so many years of singleness would things really be any better or would I just be in another form of misery?

RM said...

Chanced across your blog...when I was going through one of my 'being single is not the end of the world' phases..and was looking for posts to validate that!

The things about being single, as in everything else in life is all about choices.

Singleness doesn't automatically mean u'd be lonely just like being with someone doesn't mean u'd have the togetherness you dreamt of....you'd need to figure out what's important and what or if anythings is worth 'settling' for!

- RM

Single and Sane said...

Morality my friends is a joke and though we think it has no consequences on society or upon us as individuals, it's quite apparent that it does. We're turning into a society of untrustworthy, deceitful, self-centered individuals that seek pleasure. And what does the pleasure bring us? Broken lives, broken families, and broken hearts.

I absolutely agree with you. We've objectified people to the point that anything goes - but little of it goes well.

LOALoveCoach said...

Hi Vicki,

I love this post. In fact, I am going to post it on my blog today. One of my most precious experiences is to help singles not only accept their current singleness, but to enjoy it.

As I say, nothing is more irresistible than a happy person. Sure there is a chance that your next partner will be the one between you and True Love. That's ok. How else do you decide what it is that you really, really want?

Congrats on your book too!!

Cheers,
Catherine

Amy said...

Fun to discover your blog! I like to think that because we smart singles have waited so long, preferring to choose wisely, that our not settling will lead to a better shot at happiness once we find him. I think one of the reasons for so much of the unhappiness and cheating is because people panic and settle.

Anoymous said...

There's a facebook group that i've joined its gd "No, I've never had a boyfriend/girlfriend, stop asking me why!" http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=51315003294 singles unite!

Orlando Singles said...

I think you spoke for many of us in your post. It is scary to think about finding someone new and we worry about the outcome. As it stands, many single people wish they were married and many married people wish they were single. There are no guarantees in life, so if you find someone and fall in love, just enjoy it for as long as you have it.