Well, as most of you know who have followed my blog since I started to bemoan my single existence, I love to use this Blogger to sort out my feelings and dump my thoughts. Watch out, I'm emptying the dump truck on this post..
I was fortunate that when I divorced 11 years ago, it was fairly amiable. We just couldn't live with each other for a variety of reasons. Two wrongs that definitely did not make a right as husband and wife. We gave it an 18 year run and then shut the show down. However, after the divorce we remained friends. We occasionally talked on the telephone. He took me out to dinner when we needed to catch up on family matters. We shared holidays together on Thanksgiving and Christmas up until my son married.
Everything was great until a few years ago when my ex-husband took a trip to China. He fell for his tour guide, 40 years younger than him. She came to the US for a visit, and they flew off to Las Vegas and married. During that process, he slowly weaned himself from contacting me. Once he married, the valve shut off and the well dried up. I wasn't so upset that he married, as I was upset I lost a friend. He was someone I could rely upon. At least, we still lived in the same town and in the back of my mind when my son left and moved away, I knew my ex would be there in case of emergencies...or so I thought.
About two months ago he telephoned me about some inconsequential piece of mail. We talked candidly for quite some time, and I told him how I was feeling about being alone and not knowing what to do with myself or my future. He told me "he'd be there" if I needed him.
Well, this Saturday I had a conversation with my son now living in Pennsylvania. "How's your dad?" "Dad?" he said a bit confused. "Dad moved to Idaho." I yelled IDAHO!!!! Stunned, I guess, is the only word I have to describe what I felt. Abandoned is the other.
Yes, I know he's married to another woman and owes me nothing. I guess it's just taken me 10 years to cut the cord with him completely. Apparently, he decided to take the scissors and cut it without telling me. I think I would have taken it better had he told me he was moving, but he didn't. Especially after my hearfelt discussion with him recently.
In any event, he's gone. I suppose I should be thankful that I didn't go through some hateful divorce that left everyone bleeding in its wake. Maybe a clean cut would have been better, rather than a slow death. All I know is part of my security system just left in a U-Haul.
Oh, well, that's what happens when you are JUST ONE SINGLE. I guess I'm staying true to the name of this blog.
Okay, dump truck is empty. I'm moving on.