Thursday, October 31, 2013

People Desperate for Love

Yesterday, I got caught up in an episode on Dr. Phil about a woman who met someone online that turned out to be a fraud.  She had fallen in love with a picture of a man that had been stolen and used to perpetrate a scam.  To top it off, she had mortgaged her home and given a total of nearly $191,000 to this person at the other end...without ever meeting him.  As I went searching on YouTube for clips, I was astounded to find so many woman who have been duped by crooks and frauds who use false identities to play with the emotions of women either for money or a sick emotional gain in hurting another.  Here is a link to the page on Dr. Phil.  CLICK HERE

Any rational person reading this is probably thinking to themselves, how could these people fall for this stuff? They are not alone.  There are numerous stories of people, both men and women, being duped by what is termed as a "catfish" into falling in love with someone who doesn't exist.  The Urban Dictionary defines a catfish as:
The individual discovers the person's weakness and feeds into that weakness until they are emotionally hooked upon the person at the other end.  They fall in love with an image of a person and a false personality, all of which they find attractive. The individuals who perpetrate these scams have their own mental issues. Why would another person do this to an unsuspecting, love-starved person just for getting kicks out of deceiving, hurting, and destroying a human being?  Frankly, the Internet is a dark place of anonymity that gets darker by the hour, and as singles you need to be aware of the dangers. 

Frankly, I don't trust online dating sites any longer.  It's like clicking on a link in a random email that steals my information and identity.  In a sense, a catfish exists for one reason -- to steal your heart and leave it bankrupt.  You might find it interesting to go on YouTube and watch some of these sad stories regarding people who have been duped.

What does it tell me?  It tells me that as single human beings we are becoming desperate for love and searching for it in places that are dangerous.  After 14 years of being single and alone, I can understand the desperation.  However, that desperation often comes from looking to others to define your self-worth that you are a person who can be loved.  If there is anything I have learned in my walk through life is that we should never look to others to define our value.  We need to find it in ourselves.  That breeds the wisdom needed to protect your heart above all else, "for out of it flows the issue of life."

I hope that you will take the time to watch some of these sad stories.  If you are in an online relationship and have never met the person, just be aware of the darkness lurking behind your computer screen.  Be wise - be safe - love yourself first before seeking it elsewhere.

Here is a link to YouTube and some relevant stories about others who have succumbed to this scam.

Vicki

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Set In My Ways

Life has been rolling along at the usual pace.  Work, sleep, eat, and write.  My day job has been overwhelmingly busy.  I've been sucked into watching Netflix hours on end and writing reviews on Popcorn Entertainment.  The shows fill my needs rather than the current ones on TV and give me a safe amount of allotted romance.  If I overdose, I tend to cry.

Nevertheless, thinking about my single life has evened out to acceptance.  My desire to find love at this point in life has pretty much died a slow and painful death.  I'm so set in my life, my work, my writing, my new condo, and my cat, that I can't think of anything else.  I've pretty much abandoned this blog, except for a few occasional check-ins, and put my attention on other writing like my books and other blogs. Frankly, my desire to become a best-selling author consumes me more than finding a husband at this point in life.  It's just the way things have become.

It reminds me of my post long ago about the frog in the pot.  You know the story, stick the frog in a pan of water, bring it slowly to a boil, and the frog never realizes it's being slowly killed off.  I guess after 14 years of singleness, I'm cooked.

That doesn't mean, however, that I don't care about the singles that come to my blog looking for answers to loneliness.  On the contrary, I so relate to each one of you.  I think my age has a lot to do with my situation as well.  I'm 63 now.  My youth has fleeted.  My family has grown.  My chance for a romance when I was young and good looking has faded away into the past.  It's just the way things are.  Life marches on and the seasons of your life change with it.

My best,
Vicki

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Valentine's Day...Again

OMG, this is my fifth Valentine's post?  Well, last year I gave you Maxine to have a good laugh over. Ladies, missing the dozen red roses?  Go out and buy yourself a dozen red roses, you deserve it.  Men, whatever you miss about Valentine's day, I could say go out and get it, but that might lead you to some illegal or immoral act!  Have a beer and pizza instead.

Even though I don't post as often as I use to, I still think about you.  After all, my poll shows most of you hate your single life, or consider yourself a loner, loser, and complicated wreck.  [inserts hug] 

To the remaining who don't know who you are, or the small percentage that love your freedom, I think about you as well. 

Enjoy another year of Maxine, and for heaven's sake...smile.

Fondly,
Vicki


Thursday, January 10, 2013

I Survived the Holidays

I usually post around the holidays.  For some reason, I didn't this year.  Perhaps I didn't have much to say that I haven't said in years past with all my other holiday posts.  Nevertheless, I survived.  If you're reading this, looks like you survived too.  And we all missed the end of the world on top of it.  I'm just sorry I still have to pay my bills and couldn't leave those behind.  Oh, well.

The holidays were all right this year.  First time in years I haven't spent them totally alone or left town to get away from it all.  My son, his girlfriend, my granddaughter, and his girlfriend's daughter came over for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner.  It's a wonder I remember how to cook.  Well, sort of.  The turkey fell apart and was dry; and let's not talk about the overcooked ham that came out like shoe leather.  Hey, at least I tried! I guess too many take-outs and TV dinners have ruined my ability to cook.  

Nothing too much is new, except that I've started talking to a very old friend that I was once engaged to 44 years ago when I was 18. I chickened out and called off the wedding. We stumbled across each other on Facebook and occasionally reminisce about days gone by and how we've aged.  During our exchanges, we've also told each other about our life's journey.  It's been nice to have a kind word with the opposite sex.  Unfortunately, he lives out of state.

I have not gone back to counseling, because I've been consumed with my book marketing and work.  I'm happy to say that my latest release, Conflicting Hearts, has gleaned some wonderful comments from women.  Here are few that have come my way through emails and comments on Facebook.

"Loved it, amazing!"
"Love...love...LOVED this book!!"
"Thank you for a romance that deals with very real issues."
"Just wanted to say WOW.  Truly amazing and inspirational."
"In short, I loved it!"
"It's a real eye opener and should be read by all."
"It's well done, very well done story. I absolutely loved it."

Once again, I cling to my writing to remind myself even though I am alone, I still have purpose.  I can touch others by the written word.

Wishing all my readers a very happy, healthy, peaceful, and loving New Year.  

Fondly,
Vicki